By ALEXANDRA NEWMAN

Mothers of soldiers fighting in Iraq, take heart. By following the advice of local mothers of soldiers who fought in the Gulf War, you could help our local soldiers and might lessen your own anxiety.

Every Tuesday for 12 years, eight women, who call themselves the “Tuesday Night Ladies” have been meeting as a support group - initially because their sons were soldiers in the Gulf War.

“We met for therapy then and still meet for therapy,” said Carol Mishler, one of the eight.

The eight were originally members of some 150 mothers who conducted rummage sales, bake sales, and enlisted school children to send cards and packages to local soldiers fighting in the Middle East. The money they earned paid for the packages and the postage.

They formed a group called Project Concern, posted a sign in Thomas Park with the names of all the local men serving as soldiers. They even celebrated the end of that war by building a float for the Fourth of July Parade.

“We all wore red, white and blue and the float carried the commemorative tree we planted in Dogwood Park,” recalled Rosemary Eiden. It also carried Sandi Hutson’s dog.

Pat Johnson, who has since moved from the community, started the group by placing an article in the Chesterton Tribune asking members of the community to meet at the Town Hall if they needed to talk about the war and wanted to support our soldiers. She had three sons in the war.

“I didn’t have a son in the war, but I wanted to do something to prevent the Gulf soldiers from going through what my brother went through when he returned from Vietnam,” said Georgia Sosnowski. “My brother wondered why people spit at him, rather than cheer for him. During and after Nam, U.S. soldiers were treated as traitors rather than as heroes. It was a blemish on our country.” Sosnowski, a mother of 12, has been a vital part of the group ever since she attended that first meeting.

“I was desperate. I didn’t know what to do to help my son. I had to keep busy. I put yellow ribbons around every tree in the park. Every ribbon had a name. I didn’t want our sons and daughters forgotten,” said Diane Flatz.

Also among the eight are Jeanne Nugnis and Gaylene Slattery.

“We needed to talk about the war,” said Mishler.

“Her husband (Mishler) offered to help with legal matters if any of the women would need it,” recalled Eiden. “In the beginning we had guest speakers at the meetings. We laughed and cried and became a support group.”

Nugnis said she was new to the community then and joined the group to help the boys and to help herself by attending a support group.

This group of eight was fortunate. All of their sons, representing all branches of the armed forces, came home after the war. But, they have continued to meet ever since. They started out meeting in the Town Hall, moved to Rax restaurant, then to Val’s where they’ve been meeting ever since. They recently sent 11 packages to soldiers in Iraq.

“We’ve been through family marriages, divorces, illnesses, births...good things and bad,” said Hutson.

“We’ve become really good friends,” added Mishler.

“Our husbands and children always know where to find us on Tuesday nights,” said Eiden.

“We’ve even met on nights of some of our anniversaries,” said Flatz.

“Instead of paying for a psychologist, we meet each other,” Mishler continued.

Each woman pays 25 cents dues a week. The money is used to defray costs for sending packages to local soldiers. They each recalled how their sons reacted when they received the packages from home.

“It meant a lot to them and they let us know it,” said Nugnis.

“My son John got Valentine hearts signed by the kids at school. They sent him letters and asked him to speak to the children when he returned. He was happy to accommodate them because the letters meant a lot,” Mishler said. He spoke to the children at Jackson Elementary when he returned.

“My son wrote letters to everyone that sent him letters while he was in the Middle East,” Eiden said. “So many soldiers don’t get any mail.”

The women said they’ve all adopted Mishler’s parents. They call her mother, “Grandma.” Grandma sent home made cookies in the packages to the soldiers and they too still call her Grandma.

“Mom cried when she got the thank you letters from those big, tough Marines,” Mishler said.

Hutson shared the story about her son’s marriage. He was to get married in a church, but because his tour was extended and he wanted to be married before he left for the Middle East, he was married by a Judge. He was married December 10 and was shipped out shortly after.

“He celebrated his 12th anniversary on Dec. 10, 2002, Hutson said, adding that she and her husband Ed would be leaving within days to visit him in Seattle.

“The telephone company would let us send e-mail to our sons for free back then,” Eiden recalled.

“One morning I answered the telephone and it was (Indiana) Senator Dan Coates. He said ‘I saw your son in the desert and your son is fine,’” she recalled.

Hutson also shared the story about how her son’s buddy was a Saudi, whose mother kept track of where they were. She took him a birthday cake when it was his birthday.

“He spent an evening with the family,” Hutson said. “They called us from their safe-room and we could hear the scud missiles in the background.”

The women said they sympathize with the mom’s whose sons are currently in Iraq.

“I always feared the ‘green car’ coming to my house,” Nugnin related.

“My heart stopped anytime a strange car pulled up,” Flatz said.

“The night before he left for the Middle East, John wrote a letter to each member of the family like he wasn’t coming back,” Mishler said.

Flatz gave her son a little writing book that he used to express how he felt at particular times during the war. Once he wrote his feelings as he was being transported in an ACE. She recommends each soldier do the same.

“Larry doesn’t talk much about it,” Eiden said.

When asked their feelings about the protesters, Flatz said “People don’t realize its the young soldiers who are punished, not the government.”

“The men are fighting for everybody, whether they agree with the war or not,” Hutson said.

“Do they realize Saddam Hussien has harmed his own people?” Flatz asked.

“They have turned their backs to the flag and the soldiers. Soldiers died for freedom of speech. Other countries don’t get the opportunity to voice opposition,” Sosnowski.

“This is a war. There are going to be casualties. If you think there won’t be casualties, you are mistaken,” Flatz said.

“Some are going to suffer - especially the children,” Sosnowski added.

The Tuesday Night Ladies suggest the mothers of today’s soldiers form a group like theirs so they can talk about it with each other.

“You’ll cry but you’ll also laugh and feel good,” Eiden said.

The Gulf War lasted 100 hours, but when the women first organized, they didn’t know whether the war would last as long as the Vietnam War.

“I don’t watch the TV,” said Hutson, when asked her reaction to the live coverage of the war. Flatz and Sosnowski said they avoid it also.

Mishler calls herself a “CNN Junkie.” “It’s like being there,” she said.

“I don’t watch it when my grandchildren are with me,” Eiden said.

When Scott Reed, owner of Val’s came to say hello to the women, they insisted he be included in the photograph with them. “He supported us all these years, and he’s like family,” Eiden said.

Posted 3/26/2003